Spirit Day

Originally posted by neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.

Back for sure

Here I am
I am back in Germany, moved into my new dorm and am feeling stressed out and content
And now back to writing fic!!!!!
Anyone want to beta "Addict" for me? And some more HP/DM fics?
Would be very grateful and fulfill wishes..

In celebration of my return, hihi
(hope it works)

Adopt one today!
  • Current Music
    Bring me to life, Evanescence

Welcome to China!

Hey people,
I've been in China for 3 months now.
And it took that long to find a proxy server that would allow me to not only read,
but also post stuff to livejournal.
I really felt bad about this, there are stories, chapters I wanted to post,
fics I've read and could never comment on.

I love China, I really do, but it policies suck sometimes.
Anyway I'm back and if nobody catches me while doing this,
I'll start posting updates and new stories soon.

I hope my former betaes are still out there somewhere willing to help me
work through my stuff.
If so please drop me a note.

See you all soon
  • Current Music
    Heroes running on TV

In fameliare

Title: In fameliare
Pairing: House/Wilson
Warnings: character death, sexual content
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Lisa Cuddy dies in childbirth. Her son is left in the care of his biological father and his best friend. Playing happy-fucked up-family is not the way House imagined his life to play out.
Disclaimer: House and Wilson do not belong to me (shame!!) I don't intend to make money with this, no matter how much I could use it :)

IMPORTANT: This is only an extract I post in search of a beta-reader
It's neither the beginning nor the final version of the scene.

The nurse gave him the little bundle. Wilson had held a few babies before: his nieces and nephew, children of patients, little brothers and sisters that would soon take over the places of his patients in the parents’ broken hearts.

But this was different. This was House’s son. The child of the most important person in his life. The little boy who had just lost his mother, Lisa Cuddy’s child.

His friend and only long time supporter in the attempt of keeping House alive and employed.

Wilson welcomed the small boy quietly, smiling at him with tears shining in his dark brown eyes. The oncologist had to laugh as the baby boy pulled a little pouty lip in deference of having his sleep disturbed.

Surely the similarity to the often seen House pout was impossible this early.

Sleepy eyes opened at the sound. Bright blue. More intense than any normal baby-blues, indicating that it would probably be the child’s eye color indefinitely. House’s eyes, Cuddy’s dark wavy hair.

Wilson's smile faltered and he stroked over the little face with his fingertips. The boy didn’t mind, his tiny fists grabbing unconsciously. Wilson gave him his finger to hold onto, which he did.

„Hello little one. I’m James Wilson. I was a friend of your mom.“ He swallowed but continued to smile, rocking the boy a bit.

„I’m also your daddy’s best friend. I thought, that maybe I can introduce you two.“

Wilson looked around to find the nurse a few beds further. He told her his plans, earning a pitiful look and having to promise to bring the boy back in an hour for his feeding. He consented and left for the elevator.
  • Current Music
    POTC is playing on my TV
  • Tags

Switching fandoms

Please don't hate me.
But due to the changes in the Potterverse, my muse just threw the towel, scampered off to the carribbean, fell into a coma, ... or whatever
Anyway, I fell in love with House MD.
And that's where I want to try and reanimate her back into the world of the living.
I hope to be able to go on with "Addiction" afte I've exorcised some of my House MD bunnies.
Yours truly
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

Can't find the darkness

Hey people,
I'm baaaaaaaaaaack.
And you're gonna kiiiiiiiiiilll meeeee.
I have a big problem,
I'm in a constant happy mood and can't find enough angsty feeling to continue ADDICT!!
I've got a good excuse:
I got the stipend!!!!!
4th day into my Poland trip
I got notified of winning one of the 3 scholarships for the Nankai University in Tianjin
Starting in September I'll spend a whole year in China
studying at one of their best universities
ca one hour train-vise south of Beijing!!!!!!

My head is filled with fluffy fics, bunnnies, kittens, kiddies....
but alas no vampires!!!!

What can I do to change that???
Or shall I deliver some sweets??

  • Current Music
    Katie Melua, crawling up a hill

don't hate me

I'm not only sorry, this goes beyond being sorry
my prof postponed the exam to the last day of class
which was yesterday
I was hysterical
this was THE most important exam in my life
it decided weather I got the stipend or not
now it's over
and my mom and I decided spontaneously to go to Poland for two weeks
We are leaving in a few hours
I'll have to drive the whole 800km by myself
my home
our old house
no internet
no laptop
no computer
no TV
sounds lovely doesn't it??!!
though I asure you I will work the old fashioned way on my story
see you all in two weeks
with at least two chapters of "Addict"
and maybe even the first one of my new story...
forgive me
  • Current Music
    movie:jane austen pride and prejudice

Still no news

Sorry people,
but one of my profs was sick so our most important exam
has been postponed to Friday!!!
I'm soooo going to flunk
the chances of me passing are slim to none
adding the fact that this exam decides wheather or not I'll get my stipend for china....well I'm not very creative lately
anyway, the weekend after I'll try to post the next chapter
if there are any wishes on how I should continue
of certain things you'd like to see happening
just say so,
I could use a little bit of creative spirit as university seems to have sapped mine
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

poor me aka as good an excuse as any other

Sorry people
for a while there I had forgotten that some of you might check
my LJ for news on "Addict
I'm afraid though that you have to wait till Feb 10th
Why? Well many reasons, here's my schedule for next week:
Monday: Lab Final exam
Tuesday: Chinese History FInal exam
Wednesday: Conversation Final exam
Friday: EastAsian History Final exam
so.., you see?

Oh and btw. January 30th was my birthday, and no parties because all
my friends and I do lately is studying!!!

excuse me, I'll go and kill meself
hmpf, grumble, complain
  • Current Music
    too many voices in my head

Addict Step1, part3

Step1 Denial



Harry’s hand ran over the now exposed chest of his victim. He felt the harsh short breaths Malfoy took in the fast up and down movement of his body.
His fingers brushed across the hem of his pants.
Claws simply cutting through the leather bands that held the old fashioned trousers together.

Malfoy’s hand came down in a protective gesture, trying to push Harry’s own wandering fingers away.
“No Pot..”

The mumbled denial that slipped past the boy’s lips set off the vampire’s anger.
Pulling his concentration back to sucking harder on his victim’s neck he let his hand simply lay on the slightly hardened arousal in Malfoy’s pants.

The heavy assault on all of Harry’s senses made him notice to late that the rise and fall of Malfoy’s chest slowed down considerably.
The paleness of the boy’s face turned into an ashen hue, the hands that had tried to push the vampire’s hands off fell away.

Triumphantly, Harry pushed his hand into Malfoy’s pants, delighting in the fact that there was no other barrier.
As he stroked the hot flesh inside, he revelled in the spikes of arousal that he could now taste in the blood he drank.

He felt his victim’s orgasm approaching before Malfoy himself did.
The boy’s whole body pushed off the ground and into Harry’s like a bow, a small cry signalling the silent crescendo of his climax.

Harry growled in victory.
Then Draco fell back to the floor and stopped moving.
It took a moment for Harry to notice that it wasn’t only post coital exhaustion.

Draco’s chest had stopped rising.

For a confused second Harry halted his drinking.
Nothing happened.
Silence hung heavy in the air while the euphoria-induced vampire tried to gather his wit.

A moment stretched into eternity.

Then Malfoy’s chest rose slightly, a rattling nearly nonexistent breath the only thing that marked the boy as still living.

Golden eyes turned into thin green rings surrounding his irises, widened by shock.

Letting go of Malfoy’s body and scrambling back as fast as his inhuman body would allow Harry fled to the other side of the cell before the dead weight of his victim even hit the floor.

No sound of protest, no sound of pain.
A dead weight it seemed to be, indeed.

Harry drew a deep breath, than another and another still.

His gasping unnecessary breathes a sure sign of the panic he felt inside of him.


“No…No! No, I couldn’t have — no! I have it under control!!!”

His voice getting louder and louder, the tone panicky, screeching, very unlike anything humans knew.

“No, I didn’t… I couldn’t … No!”

The last scream of denial went straight through all the barriers that had been erected in the Malfoy dungeons to contain such tortured sounds through hundreds of years.

Echoing all through Malfoy Manor and its’ grounds.

Upstairs in Lucius Malfoy’s study a wide smirk appeared on the Death Eater’s face.
He leaned back into his dark leather chair and let his eyes close shortly in triumph.
The soft candle light that illuminated his dark office gave him a predatory look.
Opening his eyes again they fell on the tall form of his horrified guest.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been waiting for this.”
He calmed the tensely standing figure.

The house elves serving in the kitchen huddled together in an opposing corner of the huge room, terrified of such raw, inhuman anguish.

Harry, himself, was crouching against the wall of the cell he shared with his victim.
His knees pulled to his body, hugging himself and trying to appear as small as possible in the face of his failure.

His horrified gaze set on the unmoving body of Draco Malfoy.
His mind replaying the memory of his conversation with Malfoy, his voice so audible in his head.

“I firmly believe that you will do all you can to stop yourself from killing me.”

Grey eyes looking back at him earnestly, now closed.

“I also know that you would do anything to prevent being the cause of anybody’s death.”

Trust, being so freely given, from such an unlikely source.

And he had disappointed him.
Had lost control.

He hated himself. He hated the animal inside of him.

What had he done?

The voices of his ‘family’ rang through Harry’s mind, drowning him in hate and were it not for his vampire senses he would have never heard the thin voice of his victim calling him.


Facing the consequences

Pulled from the torturous memory Harry looked up.
There it was again.

The small movement that indicated life.
The slow up an down of Malfoy’s chest.

A long pause of stillness, then again.

Yes, Malfoy was dying.
But he was not dead yet, and HE had called for him.

Harry nearly whimpered.

He didn’t want to get any closer to Malfoy.
Every human instinct screamed at him to just stay in his corner and wait it out.

He did not want to get close to the body he had ravaged like an untamed animal.
Did not want to stare into the eyes of his broken promise, or
see the results of his failure to control himself.


The feeble sound of Malfoy’s voice was what had his body moving against his will.

Draco was still fighting.


He had to listen.

Slowly, wasting precious seconds, Harry crawled closer to the body he had so carelessly abandoned.

Malfoy lay sprawled on his back.
A small trickle of blood running from his neck.

Immediately the vampire focused on it.
But there was no compulsion to drink now.
Only confused feelings and instincts.

Still, Harry had to force himself to pull his gaze away and continue his way to his victim.

When he finally reached him, he leaned over Malfoy, not aware of anything but the pale perfection that had lost all his living shine to Harry Potter, the predator.

Only when a tear fell and hit Malfoy’s cheek did he notice that he was crying.

A small groan, a little flicker behind the closed eyelids was all the reaction he got.

A sob tore out of Harry’s throat.


“Oh, God, what have I done…”

Harry lowered his hand, but was to afraid to touch his old school rival. His hand hovered over the now nearly cold skin of Malfoy’s face.

Another sob broke through Harry as he noticed the warmth inside of himself.

“Sorry. So sor…rryyy. Oh God.”

The tears were coming faster now,
streaming down his face and landing on Malfoy’s high cheeks, a place Harry dared not touch with his hands.

Another small groan from Malfoy, then

“He.. help.”

Harry froze.
His victim’s plea like icy rain slicing through his body.
Malfoy asked for help.
His help.

This seemed to galvanize Harry into frantic thinking.
There had to be something.
There had to be a way to save Malfoy.

The answer to Harry’s prayers appeared in the front of his mind as if it had been placed there by another being.


Blood had taken life.
Blood would give life.

An ancient exchange.

Harry jerked upright,
away from Malfoy, away from the feral thought.

Everything inside of him resented the very idea of using his vampire nature again.

Another rattling breath made it clear to him that his indecision was wasting precious minutes of Malfoy’s life and
his only chance of survival.

Harry had to decide, and once again it was a decision that was not really his to make.

Malfoy would die if Harry didn’t let his vampire take over.
Malfoy would live if he used the Blood exchange.

But what sort of a life would that be?
He was sure that if Malfoy was asked for his opinion on the matter he would command Harry to let him die, and not force
such a life on him.

But maybe, maybe Harry could control it.
Maybe he could prevent the instincts from controlling him

A bitter voice inside himself made him look down onto the victim of his first attempt at self control.

Clenching his eyes shut tightly Harry pushed it all aside.
Malfoy’s last breath was too long ago.
If he didn’t act now, there would be no need for a choice.

Sitting back he changed his hands into the sharp-nailed claws that had torn apart Malfoy’s clothes.

Watching out of green eyes he let his left forefinger claw-like fingernails slice diagonally through the vain in his right wrist.

The skin parted and then began to fill with blood like an empty river bed during rain season.

Soon it was dripping down his hand, onto his fingers.

Harry moved his hand so that it was directly over Malfoy’s face.
Fingertips pointing downwards, only millimeters away from the boy’s bluish lips.

As if in slow motion Harry’s blood made it’s way downwards.
Over his calloused palm to his strong fingers, down to their sensitive tips were they gathered for a moment
Before finally a single drop separated from Harry.

Falling directly onto Malfoy’s lips.

The sound loud and clear to the vampire.
Then another drop, and another.
Slowly tracing Malfoy’s lips, drifting inwards.

But there was no movement from the blonde.
No parting of the lips, nothing.

Desperation threatened to overwhelm Harry again.
“Oh, please, Malfoy, please…”

Every cell in Harry’s body strained against his movement but Harry fought to make his bleeding hand lower.

Finally, his over-stimulated fingertips were touching his victims lips.
Tracing them reverently and pushing against their center.
Slipping inside the still slightly warm cavern to let their precious red burden directly drip into Malfoy’s mouth.

Again nothing happened for seemingly endless seconds.

Then he saw Malfoy swallow.
And breathe, not choking.
But cleanly swallowing his blood and then taking another breath.

After a dozen repetitions a nearly undetectable feeling of sucking on Harry’s fingertips made the borrowed blood that traveled through Harry’s veins run into his cheeks and his returning erection.

Harry hissed.
He wanted to pull back.

Get away from the temptation.
The sensations that his victim’s caused.

It wasn’t only his body that reacted to the stimulation; it was Harry’s spirit that was feeling high.
His human side and his vampire instincts for once in perfect accord.
Nurturing and claiming.

Just one more second, Harry told himself to hold on for only one more second.

He felt how his eyes turned golden, his senses sharpening.

No, not again.

With a gasp and a small slurping sound he pulled his hand out of Malfoy’s mouth.
Fleeing into the opposing corner of their cell.

Gasping for breath and fighting his desires he watched Malfoy’s now regular breathing.

Seeing the color return to the boy’s face and counting his breaths calmed him.

Soon he trusted himself enough to crawl back to his former rival’s side and check on him.

Vampire senses listening to the slow but regular heartbeat, sharp eyes seeing the wound in his neck close, leaving two small twin scars.

The mercury eyes that stared back at him as he searched Malfoy’s face were shocking enough to nearly topple him over backwards.

After regaining his balance Harry dared to meet the other boy’s gaze nervously.

His own eyes showing only his confusion, the lines around his mouth and the deep frown more than enough evidence of his pain.

But Malfoy’s face was calm, his eyes swirling with a power that could only have been induced by the consummation of Harry’s blood.

A small twitch of the boy’s lips showed the shadow of his trademark smirk.

Harry was frozen in shock until a gasping chuckle escaped his mouth, one more and soon he was laughing hysterically.

“Welcome back Malfoy.”

Gasped Harry before he let his body fall next to the other boy onto the cold cell floor.

His laughter slowly dying he curled towards his …
He didn’t know what Malfoy was right now, but whatever they were,
it made Harry smile a little bit when he finally gave into the exhaustion and fell asleep.

Fini Step 1 Denial

tbc in Step 2 Bad faith

P.S. All hail the betaQueen Snuffy!!!
  • Current Music
    Lord of the Ring3 Soundtrack
  • Tags